Barely Existing
Toward the end of my active addiction, I had a momentary journey into reality and became aware of what my life had become. Each day was filled with complete and utter loneliness that would not subside under any condition. I had a full-time job in a large city, a place of my own, and could pay my bills. Unfortunately, I was also in the grip of my substance addiction. When I wasn’t using, I was constantly preoccupied with when I could use again and how much.
During my moment of clarity, I called the Pride Institute and arranged to be admitted 1 month from the day I made the initial call for help. This was to be my first experience receiving drug/alcohol treatment. I remember waiting in the airport, completely alone, wondering if there was anything that could be done to help me. I feared that I would not be accepted into the center—that I would just have to deal with my addiction alone.
It’s hard to put into words everything that happened while I was in treatment and the things I learned about myself. Pride gave me the space and opportunity to identify core issues about why I used and of what I was afraid. To this day, I will never forget the compassion and insight provided by the staff—whether they were counselor, nurse, or mental health technician. All of them, together, helped put me on a solid path of recovery.
Did the Pride Institute fix everything about me and make my life easy at all times? No; however, what I learned from Pride was how to connect with other members of the sober community and to open myself to the possibility that things could be good in my life. I wish I could say I never have thoughts of using or that my interactions with others are always positive—they aren’t, but with the help of Pride I learned how to face the challenges head on and have some happiness in my life.
Doug R.