by Nicky Simon-Burton, MAOL, director of business development

I consider myself to be well aware of gender bias in our world. I present in the community on how these social norms impact our community on a regular basis and ask clinicians to challenge their personal bias when it comes to gender explorations. So, imagine my surprise when I stood staring at the end cap at a local retailer trying to determine why I was fighting my two-year-old on which box of pull-ups to buy. My son loves Dora. He likes Diego. Both boxes of pull-ups were on clearance and both were in his size. He really, really wanted the pink, flowery Dora underpants.

I caught myself weighing the most silly things: when is the next time his grandparents will see him, would school see this has an issue, what will my partner say, and a whole slew of other ridiculousness. It didn’t take long for me to look at my son, laugh out loud, and place both boxes of pull-ups into the cart (it was a great sale).

It is funny how social norms impact us. I knew that it did not matter whether he wore pink or blue underpants as long as they kept him dry at night. I knew that he loved the cartoon Dora and to him the color made no difference. But my own internalized homonegativity translated the experience into so much more. Was I a bad mom to put him in pink? Can two lesbians raise a ‘real man’? If I get pink pants now, what does that mean for him later?

My point in sharing this story is to illustrate that we are all human. There is no perfect person who always remembers to shut off the internal dialogue. We have all learned lessons growing up and through our adult lives that shape who we are and how we cope with situations and conflict. However, you can allow this dialogue to come forward and then laugh and push it off.

You are who you are. We are each unique and different in our own way. If you like pink or blue or green or purple, it is still you. And it is amazing being the authentic you!

People who find themselves in this situation will often feel alone, like no one could possibly understand what they are going through. While it might be very difficult or even impossible for others to really “get it” – it is important to know that you are truly not alone. Many find it difficult to approach loved ones (family, friends, co-workers, etc) to ask for help, thinking that they will be rejected or judged. The reality is that your loved ones likely already have a fairly good idea that you are in need of some help. Those who are closest to you witness your behavior and have the best understanding of who you are – they will likely have noticed changes in you and will be glad you came to them for help.

Taking that first step is often the most difficult as well as the most relieving. To reflect a sentiment from the AA community, admitting that you have a problem is the first step. There are number of “first steps” you can take in reaching out for help:

• Reach out to a close, trusted individual (family, friend, co-worker). It is likely this person already has and idea that you need help. Allow them to support you in taking the next steps.
• Contact your Employee Assistance Program. This is a confidential support service provided by most employers. They can offer some initial counseling along with some referrals for longer term treatment.
• Go to a meeting. Most cities have listings for LGBT friendly meetings. This can be a great way to start talking to someone who might understand what you are going through.
• Do some research. There are a lot of resources online for people to find therapists and treatment centers that might be a good fit for them.

If you are stuck and not sure where to start, it is best to just call PRIDE Institute or another treatment center. The first call is often to just begin the conversation to see if you need treatment and if so, what that might look like: outpatient, inpatient, residential, etc. Making a call does not commit you to anything other than a conversation to look into your options. We are here to help, call 800-547-7433.

As a citizen of Minnesota for my entire life, I have always appreciated the progressive nature of this state. We have great social service programs to help others out; tremendous health care researchers and developers; talented arts, theater, and dance communities; and, we are generally nice people. Now that we are poised to be the 12th state to acknowledge the relationships of same sex couples; I could not be more proud.

However, marriage equality is about more than just two people loving and committing to each other. It is a statement of being as important, as valuable, as capable of maintaining love just like everyone else. For most of our community this dialogue has not been heard from a state level. For some of us these words have never been heard on an individual level. And that has caused us some pain.

At PRIDE Institute I have seen tremendous growth come out of enormous pain. I imagine the State of Minnesota will have tremendous growth, regardless of the final verdict. As a lesbian committed mom of a two year old, I know I have held my head up higher knowing that we have collectively said NO to discrimination in this great state. However, I am not naïve to think this is the only battle to be won.

Certainly there are upcoming struggles related to transgender inclusiveness that MUST be addressed individually, locally, statewide, and nationally. Health care research in LGBT communities still shows a lower level of access, higher acuity, and fear of discrimination. This is similar to many other minority populations. So, what are we going to do about it?

What is the point of being able to fall in love and get married if you aren’t safe to get ongoing medical care to keep you and your relationship strong and growing?

So, let us hope and pray for a positive result for our marriage rights, and then turn our attention to helping educate and advocate for better cultural competency across all other aspects of our lives.

To register visit,  https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PrideAviationOpenHouse

This is a wonderful opportunity to come and be a part of the PRIDE Institute experience along with other aviation professionals and EAPs. There will be time for networking and questions with our client care team as well as one hour presentation on some of the unique challenges of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender flight attendants.

We will attempt to meet your standby flight schedule and thus have created several options for registration.

Option 1:     Morning Tour and Conversation  
9:45 a.m. Arrival at PRIDE
10 a.m. Tour #1  
11 a.m. Meet with Clinical Team   
11:30 a.m. Lunch    
Noon – 1 p.m. Presentation    
1 p.m. Close and Shuttle to Airport 

Options #2

Afternoon Tour and Conversation
11:15 a.m. Arrival at PRIDE
11:30 a.m. Lunch
Noon – 1 p.m. Presentation
1 p.m. Meet with Clinical Team
1:30 p.m. Tour #2 of facility
2:30 p.m. Close and Shuttle to Airport

Please keep in mind the 25 minute drive to/from the airport. We will be coordinating shuttle services so please indicate upon registration when you anticipate needing a shuttle from MSP.

We have arranged for several hotel rooms for individuals not able to fly in the morning of the open house. These are on a first-come, first-serve basis. Please let us know of your needs at the time of registration.

If you have any questions regarding the open house or registration, please call Nicky Simon-Burton directly at 612-267-9371 or at nicky.simon@uhsinc.com for written response. The registration form can also be completed electronically by request.

The festival, which is April 1-5 at the Mayo Memorial Auditorium, University of Minnesota East Bank campus, is free and open to the public. Doors open at 5 p.m. with the program starting at 5:45 p.m. Free refreshments provided.

Learn more at sph.umn.edu/filmfest.

Contact nicky.simon@uhsinc.com with any questions.

We look forward to seeing you all there!

A special thanks to Leslie Jordan for stopping by and sharing his story with PRIDE Institute clients and staff.

The strong message of sobriety interwoven through the comedic storytelling of Leslie Jordan entranced the clients and staff at PRIDE Institute. We were in tears from the stories of pain and from laughter. We were all amazed at his generosity with his time and willingness to share his authentic self with our group. Thank you Leslie Jordan for your commitment to your recovery and to PRIDE Institute counselor David Smith for inviting Leslie to visit.

“PRIDE has given me a safe place to feel comfortable, affirmed, and loved for the first time in my life”

“I feel home at last. I’m here with my LGBT community and my recovery community.”

“PRIDE affirmed me for who I am, affirmed my family of choice, and allowed me to look in the mirror and smile for the first time in years.”

Majority highlighted weekly groups: “trauma, grief/loss, sexual health, men’s intimacy, women’s intimacy, LGBT issues, relapse prevention, body image, small group, and meditation!”

“Staff went above and beyond my expectations in meeting my needs and my peers.”

“PRIDE’s weekly schedule is very structured, which has given me the accountability and confidence that I needed to start my new sober life.”

“PRIDE has given me the tools to survive on my own two feet through treatment services at residential, continuing care plans, AA meetings at the facility, and the alumni association involvement.”

“PRIDE goes out of their way to connect us with LGBT friendly resources and support to continue our sobriety outside of treatment.”

“We love weekly yoga, meditation, and acupuncture! Also, the new serenity room and coping skills boxes gave us the opportunity to relax in stressful situations.”

PRIDE Institute appreciates all of the feedback from alumni and professionals in order to continue improving PRIDE Institute over the last 27 years. Client’s voices continue PRIDE Institute’s mission in creating a healthy LGBT community. We wish to thank our alumni for their feedback and continued support.

PRIDE Institute Intensive Outpatient

2110 Lyndale Ave South, Minneapolis, MN

Visit Schedule

Janurary 30 – February 1