My focus reminder today was to make a list of 10 reasons why I deserve Recovery.
Well, why do I?
Is it because I am beautiful? Well, that all depends on whether I shower or not. Is it because I am strong? I can’t even throw a punch, but I am the best 2 out of 3 Thumb Wrestlers in the Midwest! Am I intelligent? My Dad thinks I am. Creative? I’m writing this, aren’t I? Or….is it because I am a spiritual being and child of God?
We all are those things: beautiful, strong, intelligent, creative. So what’s the difference between why I might deserve Recovery over you? If we are all spiritual beings then we are energy – moving, twisting, pushing, pulling towards and against the other energies & forces of this world. It’s a tough business, when you consider how much movement is going on in any single moment. I don’t know about you, but it makes my head spin -especially when my mind is already reeling from the joys and losses I have already experienced in my life. I am just now trying to make sense of it all.
I have tried, through using alcohol & drugs, to just slow it all down – that seemed like a reasonable choice at that moment. But then it happens – the realization of why You deserve Recovery over… the old You. This realization grows – the list becomes longer & longer every day. The concentration of that energy – our using – against our spirituality , weakens our ability to steady ourselves against the present day stressors and pain, or to fully engage in it’s happiness and peace.
Yet this struggle has created those proverbial cracks in what has become a shell of what we once were – and is what makes the love of God/our Higher Power reach us more quickly.
Now please; don’t get it twisted. I’m not a religious person. Religion to me is man-made, and like Alice Walker writes, “Church is where you share God, not find God”.
God to me is my general term for any Higher Power. Whether you prefer God to mean Good Orderly Direction or mystical being – no matter your faith, I believe we can all cross “God” in our bibles or Big Books & replace that word with “Love” .
So, I, as a part of the WE that are all energy – recovering energy – can now list for you the most important reasons that I/WE deserve Recovery:
1. I am a child of God
2. We are ALL children of Love.
(OK – so that’s 8. I’m still working on this…)